Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Non-Jews are for practice
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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