i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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