Plan B is the new Plan A
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Actions speak louder than pants.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
