i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
