Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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