why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
