pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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