I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
