yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
