Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
