Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
