why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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