pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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