this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
