Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thus making me awesome and them whores
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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