If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
false alarm, still single
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
