It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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