Define "chronic" masturbator.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
