when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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