I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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