took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
