FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
