"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sponge bath it is.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
