was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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