maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is wine microwaveable?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
