Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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