i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
