he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
