I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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