Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
