let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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