I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
