pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
