How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
