I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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