I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
