Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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