I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
