you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I currently don't understand fingers.
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