I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
