Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
