ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
