is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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