in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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