God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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