Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
