ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
