Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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