He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
