if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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