don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
